today was a good day.
it started with homemade muffins and our new favorite smoothie for breakfast.
it had to be good right?

greek key lime yogurt with strawberries and a splash of apple juice, and choc. chip muffins.

this was my first morning driving aubrey to school by myself so i was a bit nervous.
we chatted about her new friends and what she was going to play with first.
it was the loveliest conversations.
i can't tell you how much i love that.
she told me that "her worstest day was the day she threw up at school. and that it's ok if she feels a little sad...sad's not soooo bad"!
she also explained in great detail how they do snack and all about the jobs they have and wondered if they ever switch the jobs? "i'm gonna ask miss r today"!

i miss her like crazy, but i love that she now has things to tell me.
things i don't know about,  stories that i can't fill in the blanks for.
things that are just hers to tell and share.
that part is so exciting, for both of us!

i ventured into target after drop off.
now, i've been in target alone before.
but this time felt so different.
for one thing i was constantly checking the time!:) ha
i saw mommies with little ones and i didn't fall apart.
we are making progress!!

we met dave for lunch after school and that was so much fun.
she talked non-stop and
ate every. single. bite. of her lunch.
school makes you hungry i guess.

our heat has been craaazy!
the girls have had early dismissal because of the temps all week.
this one seems to be the only one who never wants to go in cause it's hot.

after school we had a friend over and there was lots of dress up, dancing and loud music drifting up from the basement. we are finally...maybe...starting to get this after school routine thing straightened out.
and lunch boxes....ugh...i'm over 'em all ready!:)

riley has her first cross country meet thursday.
wish we could all be there, but with the heat, this one's just for daddy.
they have a buffalo wild wing date all planned out for after the race.
they'll both love that!
and may i just say, this one has adjusted beautifully to middle school.
i couldn't be prouder of her.
she is growing up right before our eyes and she is just so lovely!
really lovely.

so how was your wednesday?
please share!

have a happy day,


{Baby Steps}

thanks so much for all of your sweet comments on yesterday's post.
didn't mean to pull at the heart strings so much.:)
such good, good friends you all are.
ok, so today was better!
we tried to keep things mellow. not a lot of talk about school, no hype and no photos. funny as were loading up the car she said...."what about all the pictures"?:) she still asked us to drive slow. so i know her tummy was feeling off. but daddy in the backseat making up silly nursery rhymes is enough to keep anyone's mind occupied. (thank goodness he was home for us again today!)
as soon as i opened her car door and looked into her face i knew she was still sad and scared. i picked her up and her tears started to come. but this time, i was ready!  this time i felt more in control of my own emotions so i could focus more on helping her.
i told her it was ok to cry and be sad and that it only meant she would miss us, but that she could still have fun and smile while she missed us. she walked in holding my hand, still feeling sad. she was really so brave when you think about it. we did our routine, fighting back some tears along the way, and found a quiet place to play. they were just getting ready to line up to go back to large group time which i think was just perfect for her. easing in that way, when she can sing a little and things are quiet for her to take them all in works so much better. dave held her hand as she walked half way down the hall then said "good bye, we love you and we always come back"!
we got our goodbyes this time and that made my heart so happy!
i could do this!
she could do this!
we were gonna be fine.
dave and i went to panera and the grocery store and i was sad, but i didn't cry like last time that's for sure. baby steps. it might even have been fun walking through those aisles.:) next time we are bringing a cooler to store the milk so we don't have to wander around  for an hour and a half!:) maybe we can go somewhere else too!:)
we picked her up and she was all smiles.
may or may not have had something to do with the mini bag of m&m's she asked us to bring her from meijer. she talked non-stop about the new little friend she made, rachel, and even wanted to open the car door again to wave goodbye. "she sits with me where ever i go...i like her"!
baby steps
when we get home it's like i can't get enough of this girl.
i wanna touch her and smell her and look in her eyes.
all. day. long.
and it makes me do crazy things too...."you wanna ride your bike at noon when it feels like 98 outside...sure! anything to be together and make you smile!":)

she sure gets the love when her sisters come home too.
"how was aubrey's day at school"? is usually the first thing they ask me!

so we can certainly say that day two was better then day one.
and i guess really that's all you can ask for right?
baby steps.
have a happy day,


{Aubrey's Goes To Preschool}

sounds like the title of a sweet little children's book doesn't it??:)

and it was picture book perfect in a lot of ways, but so different from how we thought this day would go in others.

i think the morning was just wonky from the start.
dave had just gotten home from his trip so everyone was excited to see him, and therefore a bit slow moving.
i had inadvertently turned my alarm off thursday morning so friday morning i woke up an hour and  a half later then normal.
a certain big sister was having indecisive clothing issues and needed me to help fix her hair.
things just felt off.
i should have known this morning had something different up it's sleeve.:)

but first...let's get on with the pictures.
my excited four year old made the most amazing smiles for me today.
it was a mama's dream, and
i couldn't pick just one...or five...

a quick hop in the sprinkler made puddles before school is always a good thing
i know these pictures look almost identical...but i see something different in each and every one.
an expression or a look in her eyes, and i just couldn't leave them out.:)

i surprised her with this little "first day of school and it's my favorite color" dress last weekend.
she has worn it almost every day this week.

and of course a part of me is wishing she still said "lellow" instead of  the much older "yellow"!:)

and here's our "hold out the camera and smile" shot to remember that moment together.



my baby, my baby, my baby!!!
here we go.....
on our way to school, aubrey said "can you drive slow", which she does quite often.
we are sure it is her sensitive tummy, and we usually tell her we will, and don't necessarily change anything,  and she's fine.
(i promise we don't really drive fast)

but today was different.
right after taking this picture in front of the sign, i looked into her face and knew something was wrong. and sure enough she threw up! then cried! then threw up some more!

she was so scared and upset and just didn't know what to make of it all.
just like us actually.
we cleaned her up (thank goodness it all missed her lellow dress) and sat for a moment, trying to get our thoughts around what just happened.
her sweet teacher came out to see her and after much deliberation we decided to take a step inside.
we were 95% sure it was just her tummy with a bit of nerves thrown in.
i had all those feelings spinning around my mind at once, would she get sick again, if we left without staying would she think things would be like that every school day, and on and on and on.
we went through our school morning routine then she joined the class for whole group. we listened from the hallway and she was answering questions and volunteering information about daddy's tomato plants, so we figured she was ok...but now what...should we walk in and say goodbye and risk her crying and wanting us to stay? sneak out and have her to wonder all morning where we went and why we didn't say "mommy and daddy always come back"? ahhhhhhhh
we decided on the middle of the road choice and left her a note and slipped out. it was the toughest little decision i have had to make in awhile and it felt awful! really just awful. i second guessed myself for the next hour and a half. poor dave!:) he held my hand and assured me like only a daddy can do that we did the right thing.
the events of the morning had me so thrown that i didn't even have a moment to fully process what had just happened. we had just dropped off our baby at preschool. preschool! we would never have this milestone pass our way again. :( no tears had even flowed yet.
then i walked into panera, saw kelli jo, our favorite little lady with her sad face on cause she knew aubrey was at school for the first time and the floodgates just opened! i cried and cried and just couldn't stop! in panera no less!!:) then i cried through every aisle of the grocery store. and of course every where i looked were mommies with babies and toddlers!:) and i missed her like crazy and 11:00 just couldn't come fast enough.
but it did.
and our first glimpse of her in the window was a happy one.
she was dancing and smiling and doing the freeze dance.
thank you Lord!!!

they said she did have a sad moment or two and actually said, "I've looked in every room for my mommy and daddy and just can't find them"! (heartbreak!) but after some distracting she was just fine.
she couldn't wait to show us the pictures she had made for each of us.

and shower us with hugs and kisses.
which i think we needed more anyway!:)
you did it sweetie!
you made it through your first day of school.
we just know you're gonna have so much fun there.
we love you so very much,
mommy and daddy


{First Day of School}

happy happy first day!!
we did it!
even though daddy was out of town, we rallied and got 'er done and everyone was smiling.

good morning sunshine.

i was a bit worried about this one last night. bedtime had been hard for her lately and last night was a little worse then normal i think.  she was upset about dave being away on the first day and just worried and nervous in general. i think riley going to junior high and not being there for her to lean on was weighing on her heart too. last night the sobs just kept coming and she was up and down till well after 9. and that is not a good thing. my babies need their sleep...always have, and even when they are in bed before 9, i still have to wake them up in the morning.

the only thing that finally calmed her down last night was giving her the shirt off my back. literally. she snuggled up with it cause it smelled like me and drifted right to sleep. sweetness overload from that middle one. she said she wanted to bring something of mine to school, so she wore my new bracelet and my lotion so she would smell like me.


the new middle schooler bounced right out of bed at 7. class schedule committed to memory and a plan in place on when and where to meet her buds. sometimes her confidence just blows me away. she just never seems to worry. even when everything seems so new and inside i'm freaking out, she's cool and collected. to me that is just amazing.

even new/old locker issues, her books not fitting and a last minute schedule change with a move into another enrichment class (we are so proud of her and just found about this move after school!) didn't phase her.

aubrey slept through breakfast again. just like last year. when we got her up she said the funniest thing...after asking for dave who was away...she said, "i'm gonna jump in my gator and drive to the city to get daddy!"
 the pile of things waiting for janey's return seems to be growing.



sixth grade
lots and lots of teachers:)


fourth grade
with ms. s


with mommy....for one more day
with daddy out of town we did pretty good with our pictures.

ha...especially this one!!:)
we have two drop off lines to contend with this year since the girls are at different schools.
riley gets dropped off first and i can't tell you how much i wanted to walk her in. to make sure she got to her locker ok, that everything fit and that she found her first class without a hitch...sigh... thank goodness they do a really good job getting the sixth graders ready. they had a two day orientation over the summer and i guess i knew deep down she would do just fine.
aubrey wanted her to sit in the back, and the only way she could pacify her for the morning ride was to lean her seat back and play with her feet. oh the silly things those big sisters have to do sometimes!:)

as we drove up i told her i just had to take pictures. she said so sweetly..."that's ok mom...you can take as many pictures as you want...just don't get outta the car!:)" ha smart girl! that cracked me up! 
 goodbye kisses are so hard

"i promise when i get home we'll play sophia"

bye big girl!!!
and yes i was that mom...trying to snap pictures and drive through the drop off lane (safely!). they greeted everyone at the door with big welcoming smiles and put leis around their necks. i wanted that shot soooo bad.  and just for the record i did get, a very polite mind you, "please pull forward"!!:) with arms waving me ahead!! oh well.:)
we got to park and walk miss janey in cause that's just the kind of girl she is:) she gobbles up every single moment of having me around. i know that will probably change some day, so i'm enjoying it while i can.

all dropped off and ready to go.
then i looked down at aubrey and said..."its just you and me baby"

we headed to panera and the library for our very last wednesday as we know it. we have had that routine for three years. it feels so sad to say goodbye to it. and honestly, if i gave myself half a chance to dwell on it, the tears would come for sure.
they probably still will.  i know without a doubt that we will find different routines that will be good. great even. but saying goodbye still feels sad.

story time was perfect. our favorite teacher, miss betsy, always makes us smile.

our book receipt is usually her "puppy on a leash" when we are inside, then a "soaring kite" when we get outside.

after lunch we played and painted and snuggled a bunch.

i love you little miss aubrey kate!!
and look at these after school smiles!


i'd say it was indeed a happy, happy first day.