sounds like the title of a sweet little children's book doesn't it??:)
and it was picture book perfect in a lot of ways, but so different from how we thought this day would go in others.
i think the morning was just wonky from the start.
dave had just gotten home from his trip so everyone was excited to see him, and therefore a bit slow moving.
i had inadvertently turned my alarm off thursday morning so friday morning i woke up an hour and a half later then normal.
a certain big sister was having indecisive clothing issues and needed me to help fix her hair.
things just felt off.
i should have known this morning had something different up it's sleeve.:)
but first...let's get on with the pictures.
my excited four year old made the most amazing smiles for me today.
it was a mama's dream, and
i couldn't pick just one...or five...
a quick hop in the sprinkler made puddles before school is always a good thing
i know these pictures look almost identical...but i see something different in each and every one.
an expression or a look in her eyes, and i just couldn't leave them out.:)
i surprised her with this little "first day of school and it's my favorite color" dress last weekend.
she has worn it almost every day this week.
and of course a part of me is wishing she still said "lellow" instead of the much older "yellow"!:)
and here's our "hold out the camera and smile" shot to remember that moment together.
my baby, my baby, my baby!!!
here we go.....
here we go.....
on our way to school, aubrey said "can you drive slow", which she does quite often.
we are sure it is her sensitive tummy, and we usually tell her we will, and don't necessarily change anything, and she's fine.
(i promise we don't really drive fast)
but today was different.
right after taking this picture in front of the sign, i looked into her face and knew something was wrong. and sure enough she threw up! then cried! then threw up some more!
!!!
she was so scared and upset and just didn't know what to make of it all.
just like us actually.
we cleaned her up (thank goodness it all missed her lellow dress) and sat for a moment, trying to get our thoughts around what just happened.
her sweet teacher came out to see her and after much deliberation we decided to take a step inside.
we were 95% sure it was just her tummy with a bit of nerves thrown in.
i had all those feelings spinning around my mind at once, would she get sick again, if we left without staying would she think things would be like that every school day, and on and on and on.
we went through our school morning routine then she joined the class for whole group. we listened from the hallway and she was answering questions and volunteering information about daddy's tomato plants, so we figured she was ok...but now what...should we walk in and say goodbye and risk her crying and wanting us to stay? sneak out and have her to wonder all morning where we went and why we didn't say "mommy and daddy always come back"? ahhhhhhhh
we decided on the middle of the road choice and left her a note and slipped out. it was the toughest little decision i have had to make in awhile and it felt awful! really just awful. i second guessed myself for the next hour and a half. poor dave!:) he held my hand and assured me like only a daddy can do that we did the right thing.
the events of the morning had me so thrown that i didn't even have a moment to fully process what had just happened. we had just dropped off our baby at preschool. preschool! we would never have this milestone pass our way again. :( no tears had even flowed yet.
then i walked into panera, saw kelli jo, our favorite little lady with her sad face on cause she knew aubrey was at school for the first time and the floodgates just opened! i cried and cried and just couldn't stop! in panera no less!!:) then i cried through every aisle of the grocery store. and of course every where i looked were mommies with babies and toddlers!:) and i missed her like crazy and 11:00 just couldn't come fast enough.
but it did.
and our first glimpse of her in the window was a happy one.
thank you Lord!!!
they said she did have a sad moment or two and actually said, "I've looked in every room for my mommy and daddy and just can't find them"! (heartbreak!) but after some distracting she was just fine.
she couldn't wait to show us the pictures she had made for each of us.
and shower us with hugs and kisses.
which i think we needed more anyway!:)
you did it sweetie!
you made it through your first day of school.
ever.
we just know you're gonna have so much fun there.
we love you so very much,
mommy and daddy
Cindy. I am going to fail trying to express in words how much this post touched me. I can only attempt by saying that your words and pictures literally tugged at my heart.
ReplyDeleteI can actually SEE the love you have for your baby girl, and the joy as well as anguish you were feeling that morning as you let her go into the world. Rest assured, my dear friend, she carries all that love in her heart, and will draw on that whenever her little heart needs to.
So sorry that the day went a bit "off" to start. Life has a way of doing that, doesn't it? But like the true champ you are, you picked yourself up, leaned on your man for support, and carried on.
You inspire me, Cindy...
Everyday will get easier. Soon you will be checking your watch and saying, "Is it time to pick up already?" : )
I was NOT expecting the throw up. NOT AT ALL!! I don't know what I would have done at that point.
ReplyDeleteMy favorite picture is the one of her looking up at the camera with a little bit of mischief on her face. Just enough.
Good luck, and I hope this week is a little smoother.
Oh boy... this one made me teary too! She is just as sweet as a rose all ready for her first day. So sorry that she was sick when she got there. I can't imagine being in your shoes trying to figure out what to do. But looks like you did just the right thing and she did great! It'll get easier Cindy... can't be as bad as that first day! It's so hard on us moms, isn't it? Just aches the heart. I remember Abigail in Kindergarten last year. September was so so hard for both of us. And that school day is soooo long. I've only got one more day of summer with them before Wednesday and I'm all ball of nerves. I so loved seeing these pictures and her happy smiling face. And the relief when you went to pick her up. I'm super glad that you weren't alone and that Dave was home with you. Hang in there, it's all part of the magic of growing up. Now I need to go find a tissue!
ReplyDeleteOh my! Give me a second while I go get a tissue..............ok, I'm back. I was a little surprised about her throwing up- she always seems so sure of yourself. Just goes to show that going to school and being away from mom and dad is a big thing. I'm sure you won't have anymore of that though...she sure looks like she loved it!
ReplyDeleteOk, now I'm crying! What a day Cindy....what - a - day. I can't even imagine the emotions. Preschool is harder than kindergarten for me. I hope it only gets easier. She sure looked like she had fun:))
ReplyDeletethanks traci!! it was a roller coaster of a day that's for sure!
Deleteand yes....now I remember now how hard preschool can be!:)
have a happy day
I've read through this post twice, with a lump in my throat. She will do so well, but it is so hard on our hearts! love ya dear friend.
ReplyDeleteAww it is so hard seeing our babies go off to school...it is hard not being there when they need us or want us. This is a huge milestone for you guys, but I am glad she enjoyed her first morning at preschool. I hope with each passing day that it gets a little easier for you, I understand exactly where you are coming from. Big hugs Cindy xoxo
ReplyDelete